


The Shower

by bitboozy



Series: Domesticated [30]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Baby Hardy Bastard Child of Broadchurch, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Fred is the real star, Gen, Romance, This is a love story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-01-29 12:44:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21410398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: Various forms of drama and chaos ensue as people gather at the new house for Ellie's baby shower.
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Domesticated [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550554
Comments: 83
Kudos: 156





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Though this first chapter may be deceiving, I promise that real things WILL in fact happen in this story.

It’s been nearly a month since the Miller-Hardys moved into their new house but the novelty of it has yet to wear off. The kids are all mildly obsessed with their new bedrooms – Daisy is surprisingly thrilled to be in the attic – and Ellie has spent more time in her clawfoot bathtub than she’d care to admit. Alec has most been enjoying the kitchen, complete with the granite top island he’s always wanted, and it is perhaps not so mysterious that new cook books keep showing up at their door. The baby’s room is freshly painted mint green, each member of the family contributing at least some of their time to the task. Mostly Alec and Fred. And while it did take them nearly three whole weeks to unpack entirely, the house is finally in good enough shape for company, just in time for their baby shower.

The family is careful to call it _their_ baby shower and not _Ellie’s_ baby shower, at her insistence. She refuses to be the center of attention and is adament that the occasion is a celebration for _all_ of them, collectively. It’s their first major event as a family and she insists that it be treated as such.

On the morning of the shower, Alec is awake before anyone else. There’s a new frittata recipe he’s been dying to try. Ellie is still fast asleep, so he disappears into their new luxurious bathroom and hops into the shower, steam wafting into the bedroom. He then dries himself off, cleans his teeth, then returns to the bedroom, clad in his towel. They had celebrated their fancy new loo with fancy new towels and they are quite happy to walk around in them as much as possible.

Ellie is splayed out flat on her back, the most uncomfortable position for her to be in, diagonally stretched out into his side of the bed. With a mischievous grin, he crawls back into bed beside her. He taps her nose, then runs his index finger up and down the bridge of it. She crinkles up her whole face like she’s just eaten a lemon. He kisses her eyelids, then her cheeks, sliding a hand up under her top.

“El,” he whispers next to her ear. “Turn onto your side or you’ll have shooting back pain in a minute.”

She groans and lets him help turn her onto her side to face him, though she does not open her eyes. His feet are still nice and warm from his shower when he entangles them with hers and she sighs a little. Then sniffs the air.

“You’ve showered,” she mumbles, quite pleased.

“Just somethin’ I do now and then,” he quips.

She smiles, eyes still shut. He leans down and kisses her lips.

“Ellie,” he whispers against them.

“Mm.”

Her hand reaches out for him and she emits a delighted little sound when she realizes he’s half-naked and in a towel. Her eyes pop open.

“Oh, hello,” she says, a smile creeping over her face. “You smell like tea tree and peppermint.”

“New body wash.”

“It’s very sexy.”

He kisses her. “Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm,” she replies, kissing him back.

Ellie brings a hand to his chest and begins sliding it all over his abdomen.

“Somethin’ you like?” He smirks.

“Not fair that you still get to be so sexy and defined while I’m all round and flabby and king-sized,” she complains.

“Queen-sized,” he corrects her, kissing her again.

She tries to throw a leg over his hip, but she can’t. She whines.

“Chin up, babe. Only two months to go.” He pulls her close.

She tangles her fingers in his chest hair and bites her lip as her eyes rake over his near-naked body. He lets out a short laugh.

“’m not a piece of meat, woman.”

“Then why do I wanna bite you?”

She kisses his chest, dragging her teeth a bit.

Alec has started up his running routine again, which she finds deeply insulting given that she cannot join him. Or attempt to join him. It’s like he’s rubbing his fitness in her face. Though she does enjoying reaping the benefits of his results.

“You’re so annoyingly sexy.” She bites into collarbone, then pushes him backwards. “It’s infuriating.”

He bounces right back up and reaches out to cup her face in one hand. “Don’t be petulant, future Mrs. Hardy.” He kisses the side of her mouth, then her lips.

“Ooh,” she exhales. “You’ve not called me _that_ in a while.” Then she frowns suddenly and lightly slaps his pecs. “_That’s _annoyingly sexy too!” She starts combing his hair out of his face with her fingers. “You need a haircut. So you’ll be less sexy.” She scratches at his beard. “And you need a shave. You’re nothing without your beard.”

He narrows his eyes at her as his hand darts out to the wildly ticklish spot just below her underarm. She shrieks and her arm flails out.

Ellie scrunches her face up. “Dirty _bastard_.”

He wriggles his eyebrows and offers her an impish smile. “Not sexy bastard?”

She kicks him underneath the covers.

“Ow!” He grimaces.

“That’s what you get for – “

He stops her mouth with his, this time lingering.

“I love you,” he says, lips still moving against hers.

She groans and kisses him back. “I love you too. _Stupid_.” Her eyes scan his face and a genuine smile replaces her pouty expression. “What a face you have.” She swipes her hand over said face. “So beautiful and handsome.”

“And sexy.”

She captures his bottom lip and bites it in retribution.

“So _feisty _this mornin’,” he muses.

“Baby had the hiccups in the middle of the night,” Ellie admits finally. “I’m exhausted.”

“She did?” His expression turns to one of infinite sympathy. “Poor baby.”

She elbows him. “Poor _Mummy_.”

“You’re so easy to get a rise out of these days.”

“You’d be quick to anger too if you’d swallowed a bowling ball,” she replies grumpily.

He sighs. “Come here.” He slides an arm underneath her and pulls her to him until her head is resting on his shoulder. “Relax.”

“_You_ relax.”

Alec can _feel_ her frown. “_Ellie_.”

“Sorry,” she mumbles.

He kisses the top of her head. “Why don’t you take a hot shower, and I’ll head downstairs and start making that frittata – “

She lifts her head. “The one you’ve been chattering on about for three days?”

“_Yes_, that one,” he replies. “Kids’ll be up soon. And I imagine it won’t be too much longer before Beth and Lucy are here to set up for the party.”

Ellie groans against his shoulder, snuggling into him. “Don’t wanna party. Wanna stay here.”

Alec snorts. “You sound like Fred.”

“Can’t I just stay in bed all day with my very sexy fiance?” She questions plaintively.

He squeezes her arm. “You make a compelling argument but I’m afraid all signs point to no.”

She props her head up on her elbow to look at him, two fingers tracing his lips. “Will you let me do bad things to you later?”

He raises an eyebrow. “What sort of bad things are you going to do to me seven months pregnant?”

She raises an eyebrow back. “That sounds a lot like a challenge, Detective Inspector.”

He groans. “Nnnng, don’t start_ that_ now.”

“Then say you’ll let me do bad things to you.” She slides her hand down his body until it reaches the towel.

“There will _never_ be a time when I will _not_ let you do bad things to me,” he answers. “Future Mrs. Hardy.” He reaches for her hand and stops it going any further. “But _now_, we need to get out of bed and get ready.”

She scowls at him. “You _just said_ there will _never _be a time when – “

He kisses her. “Stop fightin’ me.” He kisses her again. “You obstinate little thing.” He kisses her again. “Now go have a shower.”

*

As per most Saturday mornings, Tom heads off to football practice after grabbing a piece of toast and stuffing it in his mouth on the go. Daisy is determined to get some studying in before the party, so she rushes off to the library. But _Fred_. Fred is happily sitting at the kitchen table, fork in hand, waiting for this frittata Alec has been “chattering on” about for days. To Alec’s mind, Fred is his only loyal child and for this he will be rewarded.

When Ellie finally makes it downstairs into their beautiful granite-topped and very shiny kitchen, the two boys are both seated at the table quietly inhaling their breakfast. She’s wearing a grey cotton knee-length maternity dress, which of course she hates, but is far more flattering than her self-loathing eyes can comprehend.

Fred looks up at her with his brilliant brown eyes. “My dad made a fra-tahh….t.”

Mid-chew, Alec makes a face at Ellie and nods.

Though he still calls Alec _Alec_, after their conversation on Halloween, Fred has been using the phrase “my dad” far more than is necessary. Everything is “my dad this” and “my dad that,” no matter to whom he is speaking.

It still makes Ellie light up whenever she hears it. “Yes, I see that.” She kisses the top of Fred’s head and goes to get herself a plate.

“And my dad says I’m his favorite child.”

She’s grateful she has her back to him so he can’t see her snort with laughter. The five-year-old is very easily offended these days.

Once she’s collected herself, she turns around to moves to sit at the table beside Alec and across from Fred. “And who does that make your favorite parent?” She asks her son.

Fred goes white, eyes wide and petrified with indecision. Ellie notices Alec mouthing something silently at him.

“No cheating!” She chides. “It’s all right, Fred, you don’t have to answer, I’m just teasing.”

“My dad is,” Fred says quickly.

“Ha!” Alec exclaims.

Ellie glares at him. “What did you bribe him with?”

“Nothin’.”

“What?”

“_Nothin’._”

Ellie stares him down.

“…Smarties.”

She shakes her head, but she’s smiling. “Just despicable.”

He stands and takes his and Fred’s plates over to the sink. “All right, I’m headed to the Trader’s to pick up Greer and Megan. Beth texted to say she’ll be over soon.”

“What about Luce?”

“No idea.”

Fred hops up and stands on his chair. “Can I come?”

“You’re not dressed, little love,” Ellie reminds him. "And sit down."

“Wanna go with my dad.”

She sighs, if only to still her rapidly beating heart, and looks at Alec.

“Yeah, come on, lad, just put a coat over your pyjamas. You’re five, you can get away with it.”

“YEAH!”

Fred jumps off the chair.

Alec nudges him conspiratorially. “You know Mumma hates that. We don’t want to make her angry.”

Fred grins. This is clearly a bit they’ve developed. “We won’t like her when she’s angry! GRRR!!!”

“Oh my god,” Ellie complains. She shakes her head at Alec. “You _really_ want to compare your pregnant fiancee to the Hulk? _Really_?”

Alec makes a frightened face at Fred. “Come on, lad, we’d better go before – “

“I loathe you. Get me some chocolate ice cream, will you, I have a wicked craving.”

Alec gives her a kiss on the forehead. “Yes, my gorgeous pregnant fiancee.”

She hooks a finger to his shirt collar. “Wait, wait.” She drags him back. He kisses her on the lips. “Again.” He kisses her.

“Yuck.” Fred crinkles his face up in disgust.

Ellie grins at Alec. “One more time, just for that.” Alec kisses her harder this time, pushing her back a bit in her chair. “Better.”

“Just for the record,” Alec whispers against her lips. “I very much _do_ like her when she’s angry.”

She kisses him one last time, then loosens her hold on his collar. “Go.”

He turns to Fred. “Race you to the door!”

Fred takes off running. Alec runs after him. Ellie settles in to finish her breakfast when her mobile starts buzzing incessantly. She glances at it. Eight texts from Beth.

“Stupid sodding baby shower.”

*


	2. Chapter 2

Ellie has been sitting on the couch listening to Beth dither on about baby shower games for nigh on thirty minutes now. Beth’s party-planner-in-crime, Lucy, is nowhere to be found. Ellie watches Beth run around the house, hanging up decorations and setting up activities that Ellie wants nothing to do with. This party, she feels, is more for the villagers of Broadchurch than it is for her or her family. Something to do, something happy, something carefree, something with free-flowing alcohol and cupcakes.

Ellie holds her hand up and pauses Beth’s soliloquey. “Hang on, baby on bladder.” And she disappears into the downstairs loo. She sits on the toilet, lid on, and texts Lucy, demanding information on her whereabouts. Much like Beth, she receives no reply. She then texts Olly, presumably in town for the event, to see if he has any ideas. **Beats me**, Olly says.

__

At the Trader’s hotel, Alec and Fred wait in the lobby with Becca Fisher. Alec, of course, _abhors_ small talk, but luckily Fred is ace at it and keeps Becca occupied quite easily.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Is that your real hair?”

“Why do you talk like that?”

“This is my dad. Do you know my dad? He’s my dad. Isn’t he so tall?”

“What’s a trader?”

“Have you ever had a frit-ahhhh….t?”

“My mumma is having a baby, do you have a baby?”

“Babies come from too much love, did you know that? If you have too much love it makes a baby.”

Alec finally grabs Fred’s waist and pulls him up onto his lap. “All right, lad, that’s enough now.” Even Alec has taken pity on Becca.

As if on cue, a cacophony of loud Scottish accents comes parading down the hall, signaling the presence of Greer, Megan, and Melody. Alec goes to stand, and they all come straight to him, hugging and kissing him enthusiastically. Fred holds onto Alec’s leg and peeks at them from behind. They all notice him at once.

“Oh, now, since when are you_ shy_?” Alec says.

“Boisterous Scottish women could frighten the piss out of Winston Churchill himself,” Greer says, then she kneels down. “Are you Fred by any chance?”

Fred just looks at her.

“Because I’m lookin' for a wee lad named Fred. Yea high, loves Star Wars, big brown eyes like his mother?”

Fred starts blinkingly rapidly. “_I_ have brown eyes like my mumma,” he tells them proudly. “That’s what everyone says.”

“And do you love Star Wars?”

He nods enthusiastically. “Love Kylo the most.”

“Then I suppose you must be Fred, are you not?”

Fred bites his lip.

“Go on,” Alec encourages him.

Fred steps out from behind Alec and lets go of his leg. “Hi I’m Fred Miller it’s nice to meet you.”

He holds out his little hand. Greer shakes it. “I’m Greer and the pleasure is all mine.”

Fred smiles shyly. “Are you my dad’s sister?”

Greer looks up at Alec and excitedly mouths _my dad?!?!?!?_

“That’s right, lad. That makes her your _aunt_ Greer,” Alec says, then points to Megan. “And this is her daughter Megan, my niece. Like Olly is your mum’s nephew.”

“Hiya, Fred,” Megan greets him. “You wanna shake my hand too?”

“Yes, it’s proper,” Fred says very seriously, then shakes her hand.

“And this is _my_ daughter, Melody,” Megan says.

“My…_great_-niece, I s’pose,” Alec says.

“So what does that make me to him?” Melody asks.

The three adults stand dumbfounded. “…You’ve lost me,” Greer says.

“Let’s just say cousins,” Megan suggests.

Alec lifts Fred up and holds the child at his hip. “I’m five,” Fred announces for no reason.

“Five!” Greer gasps. “I’d have thought nine or ten.”

Fred grins. “Nope. Five. Do you know my mumma? Her name is _Ellie_.”

“We had the pleasure of meetin' your mum a few months ago,” Megan replies.

“She’s having a baby,” Fred says.

“She certainly is,” says Greer. “That’s why we’re here. For the baby shower.”

“And to meet me,” Fred assumes. “And Tom.”

“Shall we press on?” Alec leads them out of the lobby, then whispers to Fred, “what do you say to Miss Fisher?”

“Bye, Miss Fisher!”

_

“I am not letting other people name my baby.”

Beth rolls her eyes and places her hands on her hips. “It’s just a bloody _game_, El.”

Ellie shakes her head, leaning against the kitchen counter. “It’s too real, I don’t want it, I don’t want anyone else’s _influence_ to – “

“You might get a name you _like_, one you hadn’t thought of,” Beth counters.

“No. Names are hard enough.”

“Fine.”

Beth goes back to hanging up streamers. She stands on a chair while Ellie hands her the roll.

“Have you two got a shortlist yet?” She asks.

“Bout ten names at the moment,” Ellie replies. “Ten names that we agree on. No idea how on earth we’ll make a decision. Family names are so much easier. With Tom and Fred, it was a done deal from conception, basically.”

“Well, which ones sound best with _Hardy_?”

“Honestly, they _all_ sound _perfect _with Hardy, it’s bizarre,” Ellie tells her, grabbing another roll of streamers. “It’s like the perfect surname.” Her mobile buzzes. She glances at the screen. “Dad’s not heard from Luce either.”

They don’t hear the front door open, but they do hear Fred’s vociferous tones wafting through the hallway. “MUMMA!” He always calls for her the moment he enters the house, whether she’s home or not.

He comes running into the kitchen excitedly. Then he simply stops in the doorway and flashes her his winning grin.

“And then a wild Fred appears…” Ellie says, slowly moving toward him. She extends her arms and flexes her fingers at him, the international symbol of an impending tickle attack.

Fred immediately giggle-shrieks and runs back in the the opposite direction. Ellie misses the days she could chase him, but she follows at least. In the living room, Alec is with Greer, Megan, and Melody. Enthusiastic greetings are exclaimed, followed by hug after hug. Alec watches feeling a twinge of pride and gratitude as pertains to the women in his life.

“Oh my god, _look _at you!” Megan cries, reaching out for Ellie’s stomach.

“Oh, I know.” Ellie covers her face with her hands. Alec comes up behind her and kisses her cheek until she smiles and removes her hands.

“Stop it, you’re gorgeous,” Greer insists.

“’s what I keep tellin’ her,” Alec adds.

“And this house…” Megan steps further inside. “Just lovely.”

“TOUR! TOUR! TOUR!” Fred shouts, jumping up and down.

“Oh, yes, a tour would be smashin’,” Greer agrees.

“I’ll do it,” Fred volunteers.

“Yeah?” Alec looks down at him. “You got this covered, lad?”

“I do the tour!”

“All right, godspeed,” Alec says, gesturing for them to continue on.

“OKAY,” Fred begins, leading them into the hallway. “This is the dining room. The dining room is where we dine.”

Ellie and Alec laugh as they disappear into the next room. Then Ellie looks at him pointedly.

“Where’s my ice cream?”

He holds up a plastic bag. “You sit, I’ll go grab you a spoon.”

Ellie painstakingly lowers herself onto the couch. When Alec reappears with the spoon, he’s shaking his head.

“Fred is doin’ introductions with Beth,” he says. “’And this is Lizzie’s mum, I don’t remember her real name.’”

He sits down on the couch beside her and hands her the spoon. Ellie opens up the carton and digs right in.

“We should’ve done the introductions ourselves,” she says with her mouth full.

“But why, when it brings Fred so much joy?” Alec jokes.

Ellie offers him a spoonful. He shakes his head.

“Beth wants to play a game where everyone suggests a baby name,” she says.

Alec makes a horrified face.

Ellie nods. “I know, that’s what I said.” She swallows a spoonful. “Luce is still MIA. No one’s heard from her.”

“She’ll turn up. Her mobile’s probably just dead, she’s always forgettin' to charge it,” Alec reasons. “Fred’s already asked Melody if she wants to have a sleepover in his room tonight.”

“Oh god.”

“Poor lass is goin’ to have a little shadow trailin’ her all afternoon,” he continues.

Ellie squirms uncomfortably. “Baby Girl always settles in the most inconvenient places.”

“Like to think she hears my voice and tries to get closer to it.” He places a hand on her stomach.

Ellie is halfway through an eyeroll when her expression suddenly changes. “That’s actually really sweet."

“Hopin’ to make a Daddy’s girl out of her,” he says. “Got to train ‘em early.”

The baby kicks, right in the location where Alec’s hand rests. They grin at each other. Ellie’s eyes start to well up.

“Oh, bloody hell,” she complains, wiping her eyes. “Sodding hormones.”

The baby kicks again in the same spot. Alec leans forward and rests his head where his hand was.

“Think she’s a bit miffed to be missin’ the party,” he says.

She rubs puts the carton of ice cream down and rubs his back. “Yeah?” She smiles down at him, thoroughly charmed.

“Thinks it’s no fair that _we_ get to have all the fun.”

“Define fun,” Ellie grumbles, but she doesn’t let it ruin her contentment.

“Oh for god’s sake, why are you two so bloody adorable?!”

Ellie and Alec look up to find Greer standing in the doorway with Fred. Fred comes running up to them hurriedly, insulted to be left out of what he determines to be a very warm-looking snuggle. He crawls onto Alec’s lap and then drapes his upper half over Ellie’s stomach. Ellie shakes her head.

She glances over at Greer. “Sometimes it’s like he’s trying to crawl back inside me.” She scratches Fred’s head. “But there’s no room, is there, little boy?”

Fred looks miffed. “If _she_ can get in there, why can’t I?”

Greer covers her mouth and snorts with laughter. Alec bites his lip and looks to Ellie.

“You’ve already _been_ in there, my sweet.”

“But I don’t remember it,” Fred argues, his big brown eyes wide with distress and confusion. “How did_ she _get in there?”

“Ha!” Greer can’t help the exclamation of her laughter this time. She backs out of the room. “I’m out of here.”

Ellie and Alec exchanged pained glances as Fred looks back and forth at each of them, expectantly.

“Well,” Ellie exhales. “It’s like we’ve always told you. When you have too much love – “

“But what does that _mean_.” Fred frowns. “What do you have to _do_.”

Ellie and Alec both sigh. He had never questioned this _before_.

“Well. Um.” Alec clears his throat. “When your mum and I are alone and we…” Ellie raises both eyebrows at him, waiting to see where this is going. “Are….close….”

“You touch each other,” Fred says, matter-of-factly.

Alec closes one eye and winces. “…Yeah. And, um.”

“And you kiss and you hug,” Fred adds. “But kissing and hugging can’t make a baby, people do that all the time, there’d be a million babies a second!”

“No, you’re right,” Ellie replies. “It takes a bit more than that. There are things that…Alec has inside him, that when mixed with…what I have inside _me_…” Good god, why is she so bad at this? What on earth had they told Tom? She can’t for the life of her remember.

“Like baking?” Fred asks hopefully. “But in bed?”

“…Like baking but in bed…” Alec looks at Ellie, frowning.

“Oh!” Fred gasps suddenly, moving onto his little bony knees on Alec’s lap. “Is it when you do sex?”

“_What_?” They both exclaim at the same time.

“That’s what Tom calls it,” Fred explains, causing Ellie to groan. “When I come into your room and you’re in bed all naked and noisy and sweaty. Tom says that’s sex.”

Ellie goes white as a sheet. “When have you seen _that_?”

Fred shrugs. “Lots of times.” He looks at Alec. “Am I right?”

Ellie is still stuck on this. “You’ve come into our room and then just…left?”

“Yeah. I go to Tom,” Fred tells them nonchalantly. “Tom says _Fred, you have to start knocking! _but I can’t remember to knock, it’s too hard.”

Ellie closes her eyes. “Christ almighty,” she whispers under her breath. Which is Alec’s cue to take over.

He looks down at Fred. “You know there’s nothing wrong with that, right? What your mum and I are doin’? Lots of mums and dads do it.” He’s careful not to say _all_. Because clearly _that’s_ not true.

“Yeah I guess so. But it is a bit scary _sometimes_,” Fred admits. “I hear you say _fuuuuck, Ellie_.” Ellie immediately starts choking on nothing. “And you never say _fuuuuck, Ellie_ when I’m around. Is it still a bad word if you’re doing sex? It makes it sound like Mumma is hurting you.”

“Uh.” Alec coughs. “No. Very much not.”

Ellie takes a breath. “It’s. Um.” The baby kicks. “Not now, Baby Girl.” She tries to turn her body so she’s more easily facing Fred, tucking one leg underneath her. “Sex is about feeling good. And about making the person you love feel good too.”

“So that’s why you do it all the time?”

Ellie rubs her face. “Uh. Yep.”

“It’s not a scary thing or a bad thing, lad,” Alec continues. “And when two people really love each other, like your mum and I do, and when they’re really bloody good at it like your mum and I are…” Ellie whacks him. “They might do it a lot. And that’s okay. Because it’s what they both want. Nobody’s hurtin’ anyone else.”

“Unless they want them to,” Ellie mutters under her breath.

“What?” Fred turns to her.

“Nothing.”

“So if you do it a lot you make a baby?” Fred asks.

“Well, it can’t hurt,” Ellie quips. “But no, not necessarily. There’s a…medicine you can take that makes it so you can have sex but not get pregnant. But if you…forget to take that medicine, like Mumma did, you might make a baby.”

Fred thinks about this carefully. Then shrugs. “Okay!” He hops off Alec’s lap. “Gonna go find Melody.” He runs off.

Ellie breathes for what feels like the first time in five minutes. “Oh my god.” She drops her head onto Alec’s shoulder. He starts laughing uncontrollably. “Shut up!”

“Can’t believe the sneaky lad’s been walkin’ in on us all this time and we’ve not noticed,” Alec says.

“And then going to Tom!” Ellie cries, miserably. “Oh god.”

“Well, clearly Tom’s not so bothered by it,” Alec points out. “I’m sure he did his fair share of walkin’ in on it when he was Fred’s age.”

Ellie’s eyes widen.

“Sorry,” Alec says quickly.

“Awful. Just awful.”

“Well. I won’t say we handled that _well_,” he tells her. “But I do think we made our point.”

“Yeah.” She rubs her temple. “Just don’t want him thinking it’s bad or shameful. It’s healthy and normal and that’s what I want him to take away. Right?”

Alec nods. “Quite right.”

“Although.” She grimaces at him. “I do think I’m forever scarred by…by…”

Alec raises an eyebrow. “By _fuck, Ellie_?”

“Aaaaargh.” She buries her face in his shoulder.

“How do you think _I _feel?”

“I shudder to think of what _else_ he’s heard.”

Alec nudges her until she looks at him. He’s smiling. “Not as if we’re great ones for dirty talk,” he points out. “Although you do say _fuck me _a lot.”

She elbows him.

“What? You do.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Can you not critique my sexual proclivities right now.”

“_Hardly_ a _critique_,” Alec argues. “An _observation_ perhaps.”

She folds her arms across her chest obstinately. “You’re louder than I am.”

“Am not.”

“Ha!” She turns to him again, then mimicks him, complete with accent. “_Oh Ellie, fuck Ellie, ach aye Ellie, come on baby, come on, fuck fuck fuck Ellie Ellie Ellie – _“

He covers her mouth with his hand. “Christ, you’re turnin’ me on.” When he removes his hand, she’s grinning at him cunningly, and he kisses her. She opens her mouth to him quickly and it instantly becomes deep and heated. He slides a hand from her knee up under the hem of her dress.

Suddenly there’s a very loud throat clearing from not far away. When Alec and Ellie break apart, Daisy is standing there.

With Tess.

Breathless, but also _flummoxed_, Ellie’s hand goes straight to her chest to regulate her breathing.

“God’s sake, there are _people_ here,” Daisy gripes. “_Guests_.”

“Uh. That’s, um.” Alec pulls a pillow into his lap. Then nods at his ex-wife. “Tess.”

"Alec."

Ellie’s head whips to face him, eyebrows raised. He does not seem nearly as surprised as she is.

“Sorry to disturb you,” Tess says with a coy smirk.

“Bit of an, uh…” Alec shakes his head. “Where babies come from chat with Fred just now,” he says, as if that explains everything.

“…Ah,” Tess replies.

“I _told_ you Mum was comin’ early,” Daisy complains.

Ellie is now _glaring_ at Alec. He looks back at her, confused. And then:

“Ah, bollocks.”

Daisy puts her hands on her hips. “Did you forget to tell Ellie that Mum was comin'?”

Unbearably irritated, Ellie starts to get up off the couch. Alec instinctively goes to help her, but she pushes him away. “Don’t you touch me.”

Daisy runs up to help Ellie up. Then Ellie goes to Tess. “So sorry for the inauspicious greeting,” Ellie says, as politely as she can. “We’re happy to have you.”

Then she shoots an icy glare back at Alec before reaching for Tess and guiding her out of the room. “Let me show you the rest of the house.”

Daisy shakes her head at her father, then follows them.

Alec stays where he is, pillow in lap, and sighs.

*


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone sits on the floor.

The kitchen, now, is bustling with activity. Beth has wrangled Megan into helping her prepare and set out food. The two women seem to have hit it off quickly. Greer is sitting at the table, having already found her way to a mimosa, which is somehow predictable. Melody is in the back garden with Fred, being chased.

But when Ellie walks in with Tess, the entire room goes silent. Clearly, the Hardys had not been informed of Tess Henchard’s impending presence, and vice versa.

“Bloody hell,” Greer mumbles.

“_Tess_.” Megan is agape.

Beth glances around, clueless, then connects with Ellie, who appears to be cringing.

“So, uh. You two know Tess,” she says finally, then turns to Beth. “Beth, this is Alec’s ex-wife, Tess Henchard. Tess, Beth Latimer.”

It takes a moment for Tess to drag her gaze away from Megan and Greer over to Beth. Then Ellie can practically _see _the words _Danny Latimer’s Mum _cross her brain. They shake hands.

“Nice to meet you,” Beth says.

“And you.”

Daisy, bringing up the rear, sneaks all the way into the room to procure a front row seat to the show. The ensuing silence goes on for far too long, and Ellie simply finds herself _amused_ by the whole thing. It’s a room full of almost _all _the women in Alec Hardy’s life. And the man himself is nowhere to found.

Greer seems to shake herself out of something and goes to hug Tess, then Megan follows. They then turn to Daisy, with much more enthusiasm, and embrace her as well.

“I didn’t, um.” Tess seems well and truly astounded. “It’s nice to see you both here. I didn’t realize you all had…reconnected.”

Daisy frowns. “Yes, you did. You knew we went to Glasgow when Granddad died.”

“Yes, but…” Tess trails off, and Ellie can imagine fairly well what she must be thinking. She’s surprised that it wasn’t a disaster. She’s surprised Alec has invited them back into his life fully. She’s surprised they came all the way to _Broadchurch_ for a _baby shower_.

“We fell in love with our Ellie, you see,” Greer explains, assuming the role of family matriarch and guiding the conversation. “Couldn’t keep ourselves away. Especially not with a baby comin’.”

Tess purses her lips. “Kept yourselves away just fine when Daisy was born.”

Megan stiffens. “That’s because Alec didn’t _tell_ us until a month later.”

Ellie tries to insert herself in the middle, with good intentions. “Listen, we were all fast friends in Glasgow, it was rather an intense weekend and Alec was truly so relieved to see them all, and I just…the bigger the family the better, I say. I’m glad to have you all here.”

There’s another silence. Alec slowly approaches from behind Ellie, placing his hands on her shoulders. She’s still cross at him, but she’ll let it go for the moment, given the circumstances.

“This is on me,” he says from where he stands. “I neglected to communicate with…all of you that Tess was comin’, truly slipped my mind, with everythin’. Didn’t mean for this to become a tense moment.” Then he whispers in Ellie’s ear, “Sorry, love.” He turns back to the room. “Can we all get on for the day then?”

They all nod fairly noncommittally.

Then Tess speaks up. “If my presence is a complication, I’m happy to simply leave a gift, take Daisy for lunch, and be on my way instead.”

“No, no,” Ellie says, touching her arm. “You come on with me, we’ll finish the tour.”

Ellie guides Tess out of the kitchen.

After a brief silence, Megan snorts, “Too bad we didn’t bring Emma with us.”

_

The last stop on Ellie’s tour of the house is the baby’s room. Last and least, as there is almost nothing in it. It’s painted mint green, and there is a stray box or two flung about.

“I like the color,” Tess observes politely.

“Yeah, nice, right?” Ellie looks around. “Thought we’d not be so gender normative. Plus it’s sort of lovely and cheery without being obnoxious. Alec did most of the painting.”

Tess nods. “Did Daisy’s room too, when she was little.”

“Fred was determined to be his assistant, but I’m afraid he wasn’t much help,” Ellie says with a laugh. “He’s quite attached to Alec these days.”

“Male role model,” Tess deduces rationally.

Ellie is a bit antsy. “I’m afraid I’ve hit my standing limit. Any chance you could – “ She gestures to the floor.

“Oh. Really?” Tess helps Ellie down to the floor. “Is this comfortable for you?”

Ellie props herself up against the wall. “Hard to believe, but yes. This is the most comfortable I’ve been all day.”

Tess thinks about it for a moment, then sits down on the floor as well, taking a moment to arrange herself and get used to it. “Hmm.”

“Not bad, eh?”

“Not having a small child anymore means never sitting on the floor. Didn’t realize I’d missed it,” Tess says.

“Annoys the piss out of Alec because he then has to help me up afterward and it’s no good on his back,” Ellie replies. “But we all must suffer in our own ways.”

Tess smiles. “No furniture yet?”

Ellie sighs. “No. We agreed to wait until after the baby shower, but more than that, we simply can’t _agree_ on anything. He invariably wants the opposite of whatever I want. Which should come as a surprise to no one, I suppose.”

“You agreed on the house,” Tess points out.

“Let him mostly take the lead on that one, since he was so adamant about it,” Ellie says. “All I wanted was a bathtub I could fit in for the next two months. No easy task, I assure you.”

“Have you agreed on a name?”

“We have a list,” she replies. “No front-runners yet. Whose idea was Daisy?”

“His,” Tess answers. “Very much his, then I came round to it.”

“Funny how everything goes so well with _Hardy_, isn’t it?”

Tess becomes briefly animated. “I know! I said the same!”

They share a smile. Then Tess looks down at her hands. “Daisy says you’ll get married after the baby’s born?”

“Yeah.” Ellie nods. “In a few months or so. Not in a rush, if I’m being honest. We have so much on as it is. Hard to think about adding a wedding to the mix. I’d be thrilled to just run off to the courthouse and sign a few things, but for the kids. They’ll have none of that. And it wouldn’t be fair to them. They deserve to be a part of it all.”

Tess shifts her position a bit. “Have you got some help? For once the baby comes?” She asks. “I remember it was murder trying to get Alec home at a reasonable hour.”

“He’s taking the first few weeks off, actually,” Ellie answers. “Though truth be told I’m a bit pertrified we’ll kill each other.”

“…He’s taking a paternity leave?”

“Yeah. Idea being that we won’t resent each other. So early, anyway.” Ellie smiles. “Also something about wanting to bond with her in the same way I will. He’s very determined. Suspect he’d breastfeed her himself if he could.”

Ellie laughs, but Tess doesn’t join her.

“Was back to the work the next day, when Daiz was born.”

Ellie’s eyes are on Tess, though her gaze is not met. “It’s…you know. Hindsight,” Ellie says softly. “He’s had seventeen years to reflect on fatherhood. What worked and what didn’t. It’s not…I know he wishes desperately than he’d been there more, and would go back and change it if he could. It’s not got a thing to do with me, I promise you.”

“It has, though,” Tess counters quietly. “He wants to be _with_ you in a way he never wanted to be with me.”

Ellie frowns sympathetically. “I don’t know what you mean but I’m sure you’re wrong.”

“He’s easy with you. Relaxed. I think he thrives in your company,” she explains. “With us, it was always…_trying_ to make things work, it was a more of a struggle. Occasionally a very pleasant struggle, but. It wasn’t easy.”

“Well.” Ellie offers her a small smile. “If it makes you feel any better, we do fight like cats and dogs.”

Tess almost laughs, but looks down. “Yes, but you enjoy it.”

“Sometimes.” Ellie shrugs. “Sometimes he’s just a knob end.”

She does laugh this time. “That I won’t argue with.”

“It _is_ a struggle sometimes, Tess,” Ellie says earnestly, trying to hold her gaze. “We’ve fallen into a rhythm now and we know each other so well that, yes, it is easi_er_, but…you know, we disagree all the time, we drive each other batty, and our communication styles are so different so much of the time. I think we’ve just learned when to sacrifice and negotiate for the good of the order,” she explains. “Especially as far as our love languages are concerned.”

Tess blinks at her. “Love languages?”

“Yeah. It’s a book? It’s all a little bit shit, probably, like these things are. A bit shit, a bit truth, you know?” Ellie replies. “There’s gift-giving, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, and um. Oh, it’s acts of service is the last. Mine’s words of affirmation, so…you can imagine the difficulty at first.”

Tess smirks a bit half-heartedly. “And his?”

Ellie hesitates, a bit surprised that Tess doesn’t already know herself. “Well. Physical touch.”

Her eyes widen a bit. “Really?”

“Oh _god _yes. Did you – is that not – “ She shakes her head, somewhat lost. “What would _you_ say it is?”

Ellie realizes she may regret asking the question, but she’s not sure how else to respond without insulting the other woman.

“Hard to say.” Tess cocks her head to the side in thought. “I’d have to think about it.”

“Funny, it was one of the first things I learned about him once we started dating,” Ellie says, trying not to sound too flabbergasted by Tess’ uncertainty. If there is once thing Ellie knows unequivocally about Alec, it’s that touch is his love language. “At first I thought he was just a little handsy, you know, the way people can be in the early days of a relationship. But I realized pretty quickly that it went much deeper than that.”

“How do you mean?”

“Uh. Are you sure you want me to, um.”

“Yes.” Tess is looking right at her.

“Well.” Ellie scratches her head. “Touches me every chance he gets. Has a sort of…addiction to it. Me. My…skin, my…body.” She looks away, cringing. “He has the strangest reaction to it, it’s like he really does derive some level of…calm from it, of peace. It affects him instantly. It’s like a Xanax to him.”

Tess is frowning. “Couldn’t that be more…something about you, rather than something of his?”

“Maybe,” Ellie replies, only to appease her. “But I don’t think so. He’ll spend _hours_ just….” She goes red. “Nevermind, sorry, so sorry.”

“Hours just what.”

Ellie shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to –“

“Hours just _what_?”

Ellie looks away. “Touching me, when we’re alone. Just…the skin to skin, is what he likes.” She looks up again, having found a _slight_ change of subject. “Think that’s why he’s always talking about bonding with the baby the way I will, the way mothers do. The…skin to skin of it all. He wants that, I know.”

Tess turns her head away, nodding. “Right.”

Ellie takes a breath. “Anyway, my point is, that wasn’t always comfortable for me. The same way opening up and talking about every little thing wasn’t always comfortable for him. I used to be a bit uneasy about my body, just as he was a bit uneasy about his feelings. So we had to…make an effort. Compromise. Give a little. Until it was more natural to us.”

“And you’ve done that.” Tess laughs derisively. “In less than a year. We were married for _sixteen years_, Ellie, and we couldn’t do it. Or didn’t want to, I don’t know.”

“You’ll do that with someone else,” Ellie says, an attempt at brightness. “I found Alec at my lowest point. The very bottom. If I can find it there, there’s hope for _literally_ everyone.” 

Out in the hallway, a faint _Mumma Mumma Mumma Mumma Mumma_ grows louder.

Ellie glances at Tess apologetically. “Sorry. He does this.”

“Mumma Mumma Mumma Mumma…” Fred appears in the doorway, breathless. “_Mumma_.”

“_Yes_, love, I hear you, what is it?”

Fred collapses against her dramatically, overselling his breathlessness. “Mrs. Lizzie’s Mum is looking for you.”

“_Beth_, sweetheart, you can call her Beth,” Ellie tells him. “Did you say hello to Tess? Do you remember her?”

Fred smiles sweetly, then half-hides his face in his mother’s shoulder. “Hello, Tess.” He hangs on Ellie possessively. “Daisy’s mum.”

“That’s right,” Tess says, forcing a smile.

“Why are you on the floor?” Fred asks, directly in Ellie’s ear, but at full volume.

Ellie winces. “Much comfier on the floor!”

He slips his arms around her neck and tries to literally hang on her.

“Ahh, no, no, come on, stand up.” She helps him to stand again. “I’m not a tree, you little monkey.”

He grabs Ellie’s hand and tries to walk away with it. “Come onnnnn, Mumma, downstairs.”

Ellie looks over at Tess with a wry smile. “Isn’t it funny how once you have children your body is suddenly no longer your own?” She rolls her eyes.

As if to demonstrate, Fred puts Ellie’s hand in his mouth.

“_Fred_.” She yanks it away. “Enough now. I’ll be down in just a minute.”

“Fine.”

Fred sprints out the door and they hear _Alec Alec Alec Alec Alec Alec Alec _fading as he gets farther away.

“Sorry about that,” Ellie says sheepishly. “His impending baby sister has made him a bit possessive. He has to have either Alec or myself in his sights at nearly all times. The sibling rivalry has already begun, god help us.”

“He’s sweet,” Tess says, and her smile has turned genuine.

“Sweet if you don’t enjoy personal space at all.”

Alec appears in the doorway. “Ah, there you are.” He notices Tess, then looks back at Ellie. “People are startin’ to arrive. You all right?”

“Yeah.” Ellie raises her arms and he helps lift her up to standing position.

“This is murder on my back, you know,” he complains.

Ellie smirks at Tess. “Didn’t I tell you?”

Tess stands as well, straightening herself out. With a curt smile, she says, “I’ll just go find Daisy,” and sweeps out of the room.

“Curious,” Alec says.

“What?” Ellie replies, vaguely annoyed.

“My pregnant fiancee sittin’ on the floor of our unfurnished nursery with my ex-wife.”

“I’m still cross with you, you know,” she tells him sternly, with a very serious face.

“I’m _sorry_, El,” Alec sighs. “If I could go back in time and _not_ forget to tell you, I’d make every effort.”

She folds her arms across her chest.

“Your serious face is very kissable, you know,” he informs her. “Dangerously kissable in fact.”

“No.”

“_Ellie_.” He reaches out to cup her face with both hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “Please pity this man for he is hopelessly in love with you.”

She grunts. But she doesn’t pull away. She lets him sweat it out for a moment, then her arms circle his waist and she settles. He kisses her.

“I think Fred has taken over hostin’ duties from Beth,” Alec informs her, sliding his arms down until his hands clasp at the small of her back.

Ellie grins. “I love him so much.”

“Me too.” He kisses her again. “Tess give you much trouble?”

“No. I feel sorry for her.”

Alec pulls back a bit. “Why?”

“She’s trying so hard to understand what we have, in comparison to what the two of you _used_ to have,” Ellie replies. “It’s senseless to compare, of course. Our relationships are so different. But it’s so hard watching her try.”

“What did she say?” He frowns.

“She’s been nothing but kind, Alec, truly. She really did love you.”

Alec leans his forehead against hers and closes his eyes.

“She doesn’t…” Ellie pauses, then touches his cheek until he opens his eyes and looks at her. “She was surprised when I said touch was your love language.”

His eyebrows narrow. “You were talkin’ about _that_?”

“Let that go for now.” She shrugs that off. “She didn’t…were you not…I think I just assumed you were the same with her, back when things were good between you.”

Alec scratches his head briefly. “It wasn’t the same. It – you know it wasn’t the same.”

“I know. But you were still…you. With her,” Ellie says, eyes searching his.

“Ellie.” He pulls away from her, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair.

“Sorry.” She looks down. “You don’t have to psychoanalyze your failed marriage to me right now.”

He turns back around to face her. “I’m _not_ the same person I was with her. Not entirely. I’m…you…you know. You unlocked somethin’ in me. It was probably always there, but not…not on the surface. If that makes sense. There’s more to me now than before. There’s no comparison to make,” he explains, painstakingly. “And that’s not Tess’ fault. It’s….well. No one’s, probably.”

She reaches for him and he goes to her. “You didn’t…touch her all the time.”

“No.”

“You didn’t tell her everything.”

“No.” He holds her again. “And she wouldn’t have wanted me to, Ellie. No matter what she says now. That…intimacy, that sort of…one of us flows right into the other intimacy that you and I have…it didn’t exist with her.”

Ellie smiles. It’s nice to hear him talk about intimacy. Instead of just doing it. Though that’s lovely too.

He continues. It’s clear that it’s difficult for him to describe the phenomenon of intimacy and touch with _words_ – it’s unnatural – but he seems intent on doing it for her benefit. “You I can undress and hold and touch for hours, all night. Her…she wouldn’t have wanted it and I wouldn’t have wanted _to_.” He places a hand at her collarbone, possessive but gentle. “I just want you to understand that she wasn’t _neglected_ by me. We did not neglect each other. I simply have the benefit now of touchin’ your skin and feelin’ alive. It’s a _privilege_ I have. It doesn’t exist anywhere else and it never has.”

Her hands go to the back of his neck and she pulls him to her. “God, you’re so stupid.” She kisses him. “I love you.”

“I love _you_.”

She kisses him again. “We should get back to the party.”

“All right.” His arms move down hers until he can grasp her hands. “Come on then.”

*

Downstairs, it’s suddenly a who’s who of Broadchurch.

Milling about, no doubt searching for alcohol, are half the folks from CID, Maggie and Jocelyn, Becca Fisher and Paul Coates, Ellie’s father David, Nige Carter, Olly and his new girlfriend, Jenny and Hal, Chloe and Lizzie of course, Sam the bartender, and even Mark Latimer is in town for the event.

But still, no Lucy. And, oddly enough, no Tom yet.

Ellie and Alec wind their way through the crowd, eventually getting separated somewhere between the dining room and the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Ellie finds Greer and Fred surreptitiously stealing cupcakes before they’ve been laid out for public consumption.

Ellie stands in the doorway and gasps, feigning shock. Fred looks up at her from his cupcake guiltily, his entire face covered in frosting.

“Hi, Mumma.”

Ellie shakes her head. “Unbelievable.” She goes to him, kneeling at his level with the help of the kitchen counter, grabs onto him and starts kissing all the frosting off his face, as Fred giggle-shrieks wildly.

Once she’s through, Fred attaches himself to her, burying his face in her neck. Ellie smiles up at Greer helplessly. The baby kicks, and Fred feels it.

His face scrunches up into a pout. “No, Baby,” he grumbles. “_My_ Mumma.”

Ellie can no longer kneel, nor can she stand up without help, and without Fred detaching himself from her. So she sits all the way down on the floor, with great difficulty, and lets Fred snuggle her.

Greer points out to the party and mouthes something to Ellie she doesn’t quite catch, then she exits.

“Little love,” Ellie coos, rubbing her son’s back. “Don’t you want to get back to the party? There’s so many people who’d like to see you.”

“No.” He holds onto her. “Just Mumma.”

Truthfully, Ellie would be perfectly content to snuggle her little boy and ignore the party altogether. But there’s probably something uninviting about a pregnant woman sitting on the kitchen floor at her own baby shower.

“Okay, love.” She rubs his back and strokes his hair, appeasing him for the moment.

Then Alec appears in the doorway, most likely summoned by Greer.

“Oh lord,” he mutters, his suspicions having been confirmed by the sight before him. “All right, what do we have here?”

Alec walks around in front of them, then sits down on the floor.

“Little bit of attachment anxiety, I’m afraid,” Ellie replies.

Fred has not even lifted his head to look at Alec.

“What’s the trouble, lad?” Alec reaches out to him. “We’re all here. No one’s goin’ anywhere without you.”

“Don’t wanna party for the baby,” Fred whines into Ellie’s chest. “Wanna be with Mumma with_out_ the baby.”

Alec and Ellie exchange pitying glances.

“Afraid we can’t help you there just yet, my sweet,” Ellie says.

“If the baby goes with Mumma then _I _go with Mumma.”

“What if you went with Mumma out to the party?” Alec suggests.

“No,” Fred grumbles stubbornly.

“You know who’s out there though, don’t you?” Alec continues. “Daisy and Melody. Lizzie. Olly’s out there too.”

Fred raises his head hesitantly, interest piqued.

“I even heard that Olly brought a present for you from London.”

Fred’s eyes widen. “A present?”

“Just for you,” Alec emphasizes. “But you’d have to go in and see for yourself.”

Fred looks at Ellie for confirmaton. “Alec’s right. There’s only one way to get that present.”

Fred stands up properly and looks at his mother sternly. “Don’t leave.”

“Cross my heart.”

Then he runs off out of the kitchen at lightning speed. Ellie breathes a sigh of relief.

“Well done you,” she says, then takes a breath. “My heart is both full and broken at the same time.”

“Welp. That’s parenthood for you.”

Alec stands, brushing himself off, then holds his hands out to her. She takes them and he helps her up. Again.

When they re-enter the party zone, they are just in time for Lucy’s big entrance.

She’s wearing giant sunglasses.

And last night’s clothing.

“The party has arrived!”

*


	4. Chapter 4

Lucy stumbles across the threshold.

With an animated resiliency, she tries to make her way to Ellie. Olly catches her first, steadying her, and keeping her from going any further.

“My baby sister,” Lucy says, too loudly. “My baby sister’s baby shower. My baby sister’s _third_ baby shower. My baby shower’s baby sister. Wait, no.”

“Mum – “

“In my baby sister’s brand new house!” She exclaims. “My baby sister is having a baby shower for her brand new baby in her brand new house with her lovely Scottish fiance who adores her beyond reason. Her life fell apart, sure, but look how it’s been built back up! And how quickly! My baby sister has a fairy tale now. Everything she’s ever wanted.”

Alec takes a few few steps toward her. “All right, Lucy.”

Ellie lays a hand on his arm. “I’ve got this.”

As Ellie approaches her sister, David is making his way toward her at the same time. Ellie holds a hand up to her father and he stops where he is.

“Come on, Luce.” Ellie reaches for her, despite the concerned look in Olly’s eyes.

“And here’s baby sister now!” Lucy flings her arms open to Ellie. “Baby sister’s goin’ to take charge, you watch, because you know what else? Baby sister is _also_ a big tough detective. Or a little tough detective but either way she can break you in _half_. Baby sister does it all!”

Ellie grabs Lucy’s arm. “Let’s go, come on.”

Alec hovers nearby apprehensively. “El, are you sure you – “

“Done it a hundred times,” Ellie replies, guiding Lucy toward the stairs. “One foot in front of the other, Luce, come on.”

David heads for the kitchen. “I’ll put some coffee on.”

“I’ll grab some sandwiches,” Olly says. “And water.”

They are a well-oiled machine at this point.

“Mumma, wait!”

Fred runs at Ellie. Alec grabs him and picks him up before he can get close.

“I’ll be back down soon, love,” Ellie says distractedly.

“Mumma, no! Mummaaaaaa.” Fred starts wailing in Alec’s arms.

Ellie helps Lucy up the stairs. It’s a bit of an arduous task, as Ellie is not currently the most agile person herself at the moment.

“See what you’ve done? Are you pleased with yourself?” Ellie chides her as Fred continues to cry out for her.

On they’re halfway up, Beth steps out in front of the crowd.

“All right, nothin’ to see here, carry on with the party now.”

From the top of the stairs, a shriek is heard, and then Ellie’s voice, “Get up, let’s go, pick yourself up, I can’t do it for you.”

“Only thing you _can’t_ do!” Lucy shouts back.

*

“This is your _bloody bedroom_?”

Ellie has led Lucy into her room, gripping her arm to keep her steady.

“There’s a _window seat_,” Lucy gasps. “When did you two get rich?”

“We didn’t get rich,” Ellie replies patiently, leading her to the bed. “We came into a small inheritence when Alec’s father died, which helped us with the down payment.” She seats Lucy on the edge of the mattress. “How long?”

Lucy stares back at her obstinately.

“How _long, _Lucy?”

Lucy averts her eyes. “Two days.”

Olly comes rushing in with a plate of food.

“Not hungry,” Lucy insists.

“Eat,” Ellie demands. “Do it yourself or I’ll do it for you.”

“Fine.” Lucy glares at her, then takes a bite.

Olly puts a glass of water down on the bedstand, then looks at his aunt. “I can just take her home.”

“She can dry out here for a while,” Ellie replies. “Better we’re all here so she can be good and mortified when she sobers up.” Olly looks at her uncertainly. “Go on back downstairs. We’ll be fine.” Ellie notices Lucy is looking at them. “Keep eating.”

“Shout if you need anything,” Olly says, backing out of the room.

Ellie holds out the water glass to Lucy.

“You want me to eat or you want me to hydrate?” Lucy asks. “God, you’re so bloody bossy.

“Just take a sip and shut up.”

Lucy takes a sip, then continues eating.

*

Downstairs, Alec finds his family drinking furtively in the corner.

“This a regular occurrence?” Greer asks.

“Not really, not anymore,” Alec replies. “She’s had a decent handle on it the last few years.”

“She’s an alcoholic?” Megan questions, taking a sip of her own drink.

“No. Gambling addict, mostly. Occasional binges with drugs and alcohol, but it hasn’t been regular for years,” he explains, though his own knowledge truthfully is limited.

Greer nods. “From the sound of it there’s some sibling rivalry at play.”

“Never seen it quite like this, to be honest,” he says. “They spar, but they haven’t _fought_ in years.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches David heading up the stairs with a mug of coffee.

*

Ellie takes the half empty plate of food from Lucy. “Lie back against the headboard.”

“I’m not _ill_.”

Ellie scoffs. “Yeah, okay.” She hands her the glass of water again. “Drink.”

David enters the room. “How’re we doin’ here?” He hands Ellie the mug of coffee.

“Oh, ta, Dad.” Ellie puts it on the nightstand.

“Being treated like a sodding child!” Lucy announces.

“She’s fine. She’s eaten something,” Ellie says. “More water, then coffee.”

David nods, then looks at Lucy. “You watch your mouth now, girl, I’ll not have you ruining your sister’s party more than you already have,” he tells her. “Best keep it shut, I reckon.”

Lucy makes a face at him.

“We’re all right, Dad, you go on down.”

“Shout if you need anything.”

David exits the room.

“Alec’s family is all down there, you know,” Ellie says finally, sitting on the bed. “His sister, niece, and great-niece. Fine way for them to be introduced to you.”

Lucy says nothing. She keeps drinking her water.

“Tess is there, too. Alec’s ex. Olly’s new girlfriend.”

Lucy doesn’t look at her. “What’s the trouble with Fred.”

“Jealous of the baby,” Ellie replies. “Massive separation anxiety. Quite an intense attachment at the moment.”

“Sorry,” Lucy grumbles.

Ellie eyes her. “It’s not because of this shower. Is it?” She asks. “That you’ve gone and done this to yourself.”

Lucy continues to avoid her sister’s gaze. “Hasn’t helped.”

“Didn’t realize you were feeling as jealous as my five-year-old.”

“Not jealous,” Lucy says grudgingly. “But the comparison’s a bit bleak, isn’t it, when you think about it. It’s been one thing after another for you. My life’s not changed a whit in the last three to five years. I’m just…coastin’, El, while you go onward and upwards.”

Ellie frowns. “Doesn’t feel like that. Things just…go on. I’m lucky right now, there’s no question, but…we want different things anyway, Luce, don’t we? You don’t want a _baby_, or a house that can accommodate four children.”

“No. But I do want _something_. Something new, something different, some reason to wake up in the mornin’, you know?” Lucy replies.

“I’ve never understood that. Reason to wake up in the morning,” Ellie tells her. “It’s just something you do. You don’t need a reason. You just do the thing and then you take it from there.”

There’s a pause, then Lucy looks down and says, “I want to be in love again.”

Ellie sighs, a bit miffed that her anger toward her sister is now dissipating. She pushes closer to Lucy, lying against the headboard next to her.

“You will be.”

“It happened so fast for you,” Lucy says. “Your marriage fell apart but you’d already met the love of your life. And he was already in love with you.”

“The ensuing three years were still pretty brutal, Luce. It’s not as if it happened instantly,” Ellie argues.

“But now look at all you have. And so quickly.”

Ellie reaches for her sister’s hand and threads their fingers together.

“Might happen quickly for you too. Might happen tomorrow,” Ellie tells her. “Or you might have to make your _own _happiness. Figure out what makes you happy and go after it. Instead of, as you say, just _coasting_.”

Lucy lays her head on Ellie’s shoulder. “I don’t know what that is.”

*

“Ellie was the same way. A very responsible child.”

David and Greer are sitting in a corner with G&Ts.

“Not as serious as you make Alec sound,” he continues. “But she always _acted_ like the big sister, despite the difference in their ages.”

Greer is nodding. “Was never quite sure where Alec got it from. We were so much older, he can’t have been tryin’ to take care of us. He just…was. Our mother would baby him, rightly so as he was indeed _the baby_, but he would have none of it,” she says. “Believe it or not, _Fred_ reminded me of Alec today. He insisted on shakin’ our hands when we met at the hotel. Said it was ‘proper.’” David laughs. “It was _adorable_, mind you, but impressively serious.”

“Young Fred has picked up some interesting affectations recently,” David notes. “But as you’ll start to see, he is anything but serious. Emotional, maybe. Like his mother. But with a note of _whimsy_.”

Greer smiles, as Fred sprints across the living room with a lightsaber, destination unclear. “Yes, I can see that.”

David takes a drink, then nods to himself. “Your brother’s been good for him, I must admit. And he’s very much adored.”

“And what about the surly teenager who has yet to grace us with his presence?” Greer asks. “What of him?”

“Ah, Tom,” he says. “Like most boys his age, you never quite know what you’re going to get with Tom. He runs the gamut. But generally speaking he is polite and well-mannered, treats his mother well. Which can be hard to come by at fourteen. Nearly fifteen now. Birthday in a month.”

“Well. After what Tom’s been through…” Greer trails off.

“Yes.” David nods. “Fred was just one when it happened. So he’s affected by it, of course, but in ways he doesn’t understand. In the way he’s so deeply attached to Ellie, for example. The new baby will…be difficult for him,” he surmises. “But Tom. Tom had to grow up too fast. Tom had to reconcile something that is impossible to reconcile. It’s a bloody miracle he’s as well-adjusted as he is. And that’s all to do with Ellie.”

“The_ resilience_,” Greer says. “The resilience of our two lovebirds is what’s truly extraodinary, I reckon.”

David holds up his glass and clinks it against Greer’s. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

*

Ellie tries to force Lucy to take a shower, but the clawfoot bathtub seduces her. She very grudgingly allows Lucy to take a bath instead, then leaves her to it.

She steps out of her bedroom, holding an empty mug of coffee and an empty dish, only to run into Alec standing right outside the door.

“Jesus Christ, oh my god.” Her hand goes to her chest

He reaches for her arm. “Sorry. Sorry.”

“Please tell me you’ve not been out here the whole time,” Ellie says dubiously.

“Five or ten minutes.”

“_Alec_.”

Alec straightens and places his hands on his hips. “Beg your pardon but A) I can’t be expected to thrive at these sort of dos without you, and B) I was….well.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow. “Overprotective is the word you’re looking for. Controlling. Nosy,” she says, then turns to the stairs. “Come on then.”

He follows her down the stairs dutifully. She makes a quiet bee line to the kitchen, hoping not to be noticed. She is fairly successful and makes it to the empty kitchen, where she drops the dishes into the sink.

“Everythin’s all right then,” Alec assumes, leaning against the counter.

“Fine. Lucy’s having a shower.” Ellie deems he does not need to picture Lucy luxuriously taking a bath in their gorgeous new loo. “I can take care of my own sister you know. Been doing it my whole life.”

“Course you can,” Alec agrees, then he looks away a bit sheepishly. “It’s the stress that worries me. In your, um.”

“Don’t say it.” She points a finger at him.

“_Condition_,” he says.

She glares at him. “It’s not a condition.”

He can’t help but smile. And, it seems, after a moment she can’t either. Then she sighs.

“After what I’ve been through these last years, this kind of stress is nothing,” she tells him. “My tolerance is through the bloody roof. And this…this, with Lucy, is…I’m sorry to say it but I could do it with my eyes closed.”

Alec leans back against the counter, arms folded across his chest thoughtfully. “You think we need to worry about her with the kids at all?”

Her expression shifts to one of shock. “No. No, of course not, Lucy would never…with the kids. No.”

“All right.”

And then suddenly there’s the old familiar _Mumma Mumma Mumma Mumma Mumma_ echoing down the hall until Fred finally appears breathlessly in the doorway.

“_Mumma_.”

He runs over to clings to her leg

“Is the baby really going to sleep _in your room_?!” Fred questions in horror.

Ellie blinks at the randomness of it. “Who said that?”

“Don’t remember.”

“Well.” She exhales. “Yes, for a while, probably she will.”

“THAT’S NOT FAIR.”

Alec pulls out a kitchen chair and sits in it, pulling Fred into his lap. “It’s just easier, lad. The baby wakes up so much in the night. It’s easier just to have her right there with us so we can grab her.”

“I wanna move my bed in there too,” Fred insists.

“The baby would only wake _you _up too,” Alec says.

“It won’t be for long, love,” Ellie tells him. “Just until she sleeps a little better. Believe me, Alec and I aren’t too keen on it either.”

“Really?” Fred asks.

“Course not!” She replies. “Would _you_ want a tiny screamy baby sleeping two feet away from you?”

Fred smiles. “Nope.”

“See, neither would we.”

“And you can’t do sex with her in there,” Fred says, proud of himself for making what he believes is a very astute connection.

Ellie rubs her face, pained. Alec pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Right?” His confidence wanes the longer it takes them to respond. “You have to be alone when you do sex?”

With a sigh, Ellie answers, “Yes, you’re right, love.”

“And you like to do sex a lot.”

“Mm.” Alec grumbles.

“So she can’t be in there.”

It seems Fred is now very much pro-sex if only because it means his baby sister won’t have advantage of sleeping in their parents room for very long.

“She has her own room,” Ellie says calmly. “And as soon as it makes sense for her to stay in there, there she will stay.”

“Okay!” Fred hops off Alec’s lap and runs out of the kitchen.

Alec and Ellie both groan loudly.

“This is goin’ to go on for awhile, isn’t it?” He says.

“I suspect so,” Ellie replies. “I could kill Tom.”

When they return to the party, they find Fred chattering away at a stricken Tess.

“The baby has to sleep in her OWN ROOM,” Fred tells her, probably apropros of nothing. “My dad and Mumma can’t do sex with her in their room.”

The combination of _my dad _and _do sex_ nearly knocks Tess clean off her feet. Ellie and Alec approach them just in time. Ellie places her hands on Fred’s shoulders and guides him away.

“All right, my love, that’s enough now.”

She turns him and walks him in the other direction, leaving Alec and Tess standing opposite one another. They avoid each other gazes for a moment, then Tess loos up.

“_My dad_, huh?”

Before he can respond, Alec catches a glimpse of Tom finally walking in the front door. With a red-headed girl a full inch taller than him.

Maybe it’s just because he’s hyperaware of it at all times, but Ellie’s voice comes ringing in over the crowd.

“Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me.”

***


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

“Mum, this is Erin.”

Alec reaches the scene just in time to see Ellie fold her arms across her in chest (in so much as she currently _can_, arms resting on her stomach).

“Uh _huh_.”

Erin clings to Tom. _Strike one_, Alec thinks. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Miller.”

Alec cringes. _Strike two. _

“Uh.” Tom looks at Erin and it’s clear he’s not quite sure _how _to correct her. “It’s…Ellie, you should probably call her Ellie.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow at her son. “Oh should she?”

Holding a fistful of Ellie’s dress, Fred looks up at Erin curiously. “I’m Fred.”

Erin kneels. “Hi Fred! How old are you?”

“Five,” Fred replies. “But I’m still the baby for two more months.”

“And how old are _you_, Erin?” Ellie questions.

Alec brings a hand to the small of her back, both to let her know he’s there and in an effort to relax her.

“Sixteen.”

Ellie grins, though her motive to do so remains dubious. “_Sixteen_,” she marvels. “Fascinating. And what would a sixteen-year-old be doing with my fourteen-year-old son?”

Fred looks up at her, wrapping his arms around her leg just because he can. “Mumma, she’s taller than _you_.”

“We met at the _Echo_, Mum,” Tom says, as if that explains everything. “Erin is an intern.”

“You want to be a journalist, Erin?” Alec asks, with a glance at Ellie, trying to keep things casual.

“Oh, sorry.” Tom gestures at Alec. “This is my, um. Stepdad. Alec Hardy.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hardy,” Erin says, holding her hand out. “And yes, I’m thinking about it. Congratulations on the, um --- “ She makes a vague gesture that awkwardly ends in pointing to Ellie’s stomach. “Baby, by the way.”

“Thanks very much,” Alec replies, when it’s clear Ellie is not going to.

Erin smiles. “Must be exciting at your age.”

Ellie opens her mouth and Alec grips her arm to preempt her. “That’s one word for it, yeah.”

“Good for you.” Erin winks.

Tom is shifting his weight around uncomfortably. Alec blinks at her. “Beg your pardon?”

“Tom says he sometimes has to wear earphones at night, good for you.”

Alec’s jaw drops. Ellie has gone red. Furious and red. She whacks Tom’s arm, lightly but enough to get her point across.

“Unbelievable,” she snarls.

“_Ow_.”

“Tom has a lot of good music,” Fred says helpfully. “He lets me listen sometimes.”

“Oh that’s nice of him,” Erin replies cheerily.

“If I come in at night,” Fred adds. “And my dad and Mumma are doing sex.”

Ellie purses her lips and looks up at nothing. Alec rubs his face.

“_Oh_.” Erin giggles.

Ellie glares at Tom. “I’d like to have your head for that, _by the way_. All he talks about now.”

Tom frowns back at her. “What, you want me to _lie _to him?”

“I think it’s sweet,” Erin says, unprompted.

They all look at her.

“That you two still do it.”

For a second, Ellie looks like she’s going to lunge at her. Alec holds onto her waist.

“ALL RIGHT, TIME FOR PRESENTS!”

Beth’s voice rings above the crowd.

“Oh, thank god,” Alec and Tom both mutter at the same time.

In the living room, all the guests have gathered and Beth has arranged the presents neatly. Ellie sits in an armchair, Alec on the arm of it, and Fred in her lap. Daisy and Tom on the floor nearby. For awhile, Fred takes the lead in unwrapping gifts, with that singular passion for wrapping paper only young children truly seem to have. But, after a time, he becomes frustrated that every gift is for the baby, and Ellie asks Olly and his girlfriend to take Fred out to the garden to play instead. Lucy quietly returns to the party somewhere in the middle of all this, freshly bathed and wearing Ellie’s clothes. She stands in the back with a mug of tea. Tess is nearby, and though the two women have never properly met, they seem to share an odd kinship, watching the proceedings in much the same way.

Some of the gifts are more unconventional than others. Beth, apparently, issued a surreptitious call for gifts geared toward the parents, for after the baby’s birth. Which leads to Dirty Brian gifting them a bottle of expensive scotch, Maggie and Jocelyn offering a gift card for a weekend at the Trader’s Hotel, and Jenny with some very skimpy and lacy red lingerie for Ellie.

“Oh, I’ll never fit into something like this now!” Ellie exclaims, red in the face, trying to hide it back in the box.

“Oh, now, let me see that,” Alec insists, and everybody laughs. It may be the first time Alec Hardy has made a crowd of people laugh. He pulls it out of the box again. “Yes, this will do.” Ellie covers her face to hide her embarrassment. “Gives me something to look forward to.”

Ellie shakes her head and Alec leans over to kiss her blushing cheek.

“See?” Erin elbows Tom. “It’s sweet.”

Tom looks like he may retch.

Greer, happily, in addition to her gifts for Alec and Ellie, comes through with sizeable Amazon gift cards for each of the children.

Once all the gifts are open and the party resumes as normal, Ellie finally introduces Lucy to Greer and Megan. The meeting is at first tentative, given how Lucy first entered the scene, but soon the women seem to be fast friends and Ellie leaves them all to it. Tess seems to have found a friend in Beth, which makes Ellie both relieved and uneasy simultaneously. Maggie is talking her father’s ear off, Jocelyn and Jenny are engaged in close conversation, and Alec sits in the corner with Paul Coates and a glass of scotch.

Ellie gets waylaid by Katie, Brian, and Hal in a conversation about work, which only makes her think about how her time at CID is limited, her maternity leave drawing nearer.

One by one, the denizens of Broadchurch begin taking their leave, all sated by copious amounts of food and drinks. More than a few taxis are called in lieu of any designated drivers.

Soon, in the living room, it’s down to Beth, Greer, and Megan sitting with Alec and Ellie. The former three have nearly finished a bottle of champagne together, which Ellie considers much deserved, especially for Beth. Ellie sits on the couch leaning back onto Alec’s chest and shoulder, his arm around her. Before long, Fred trudges up and climbs onto Alec’s lap, eventually nodding off with his head on Ellie’s stomach.

“Beth, we can’t thank you enough for doing this,” Ellie says. “I know it’s been a tad…chaotic.”

Beth smiles. “Seem to remember you throwin’ Danny’s baby shower. Only one month after _Tom_’s baby shower. So you had it owed to ya.”

Ellie grins at the memory. “Was much nicer to be pregnant alongside your best friend. Much less…isolating.”

Alec frowns, glancing down. “You feel isolated?”

“Well. Sometimes.”

“Don’t try to understand, Alec,” Greer warns him. “You’ll come up short.”

“I’ve sorry we’ve not spent much time together, you two,” Ellie says to Greer and Megan. “Tomorrow we’ll have the whole day, I promise. Get you reaquainted with Broadchurch properly.”

“Oh, we’ve had a _lovely_ day,” Megan insists. “Your friends are quite the characters.”

Tom enters the room with Erin.

“Mum, we’re goin’ back to Erin’s for a bit, that all right?”

Ellie looks back at him dubiously. “_No_.”

“She’s just round the corner. Her parents are home. I swear.”

“It’s true,” Erin says. “Very Catholic, you’ve nothing to worry about.”

Ellie sighs. “Too tired to argue, just go. Back by ten at the latest. And I want to meet Erin’s parents at their earliest convenience.”

Tom and Erin run off before she changes her mind.

It feels like _hours_ of tidying up once everyone’s gone. Alec and Ellie remind themselves it was worth it for the gifts. (Worth it for the _company_, they’d tell their friends.) Fred goes to bed quite easily, Daisy retreats exhaustedly off to her room after a late dinner with Tess, and Tom returns home from Erin’s at 9:59 precisely.

The minute all three children are safe at home and in their rooms, Alec and Ellie retire upstairs to theirs.

“Quite a nice haul, I believe,” Ellie says, going to her bureau to pull out her pyjamas.

“Looks like it.”

Alec sits down on the edge of the bed and takes off his shoes.

“We’ll have to bring everything up to the baby’s room tomorrow and do an inventory. Then figure out what we still need.”

Shoes off, Alec exhales and stares straight ahead. She glances over at him. “What?”

“Feels very, very real now,” he replies slowly.

She rolls her eyes at him. “Has felt _very very real now_ to me for _quite _awhile,” she says. “Follows me wherever I go, in fact.” She lifts her dress over her head with some difficulty.

Alec stands and takes off his trousers, then goes to his own bureau, planting a kiss on her bare shoulder on the way.

“Theoretical babies are much less stressful,” he says.

“Since when is she a theoretical baby?”

“I just mean…” He sighs and pulls off his jumper. “We’re really after it now, she is…_upon _us.”

“Been upon _me_ for seven months.” She sits on the edge of the bed in her bra and knickers. “I’ve had the good fortune of _sagging_ and _vomiting_ and _weeing_ all the time. Of being kept up all night with an aching back and a hiccuping trapped in my uterus. Of feeling ugly and disgusting all the time.”

He frowns with concern and walks back to her. “You feel ugly and disgustin’ all the time?”

“Yes.”

He sits beside her, in only his briefs. “Then I’ve not done _my_ job well.”

“Not your fault. You’ve certainly tried,” she replies. “It’s just…it feels a bit like someone _else’s_ body and I’m just stuck with it.”

“El.” He rubs her shoulders. “You should tell me these things.”

She shrugs. “Knew you’d only get like _this _about it. Wouldn’t have helped.”

“Even when we’re…” He tucks her hair behind her ear then traces it with his finger. “Even when we’re shaggin’, you feel…?”

“Well.” She looks down. “I don’t feel _attractive_, if that’s what you mean. It feels _good_, but just because _you_ feel good to me. Because _you’re_ attractive. But it does sometimes feel like…”

Alec waits, feeling like he’s just had the rug pulled out from under him. “Like what?”

“Don’t get upset.”

He is instantly upset. “What?”

“Like you’re going through the motions and – “ He opens his mouth to protest, she continues. “And I don’t _blame_ you, god knows, it can’t be especially thrilling to fuck me right now. There’s only so much we can do.”

“Not goin’ through the motions.”

“Alec – “

“No. Not that, never that.”

Ellie sighs. “You’re upset.”

“I’m upset that I’ve not been makin’ you feel good about yourself.” He stands up, suddenly restless. “But you’ve still been – I mean, you’re not, you haven’t…you’ve not been fakin’ it. Have you?”

“No, no.” She shakes her head. Then tilts it to the side. “Well, once.”

“What.”

“Just once!” Ellie exclaims. “_One time _in the hundreds of times we’ve done it. That’s an excellent record, you know.”

He faces her, on the offense. “_When_.”

“Dunno, last week sometime.” She shrugs. “I was feeling plain _gross_, frankly, couldn’t bear to look in a mirror all day, and then you…you were trying so hard and – “

“I was goin’ down on you?”

“Yes, and – “

“After that meeting at Fred’s school, I remember, I _thought_ it was takin’ longer than usual.” He starts pacing in distress.

“It wasn’t anything you did, or did wrong, I just wasn’t feeling at home in my own body,” she explains.

“You should have told me then.”

“I just wanted to go to _sleep_, Alec. It would have been a whole conversation.”

He leans against her bureau, parsing through his memory of that evening. She sighs watching him.

“It doesn’t make you feel sexy?” He asks. “That I…that I do that, that I want to do that to you, that I want to make you feel good?”

“I…” She rubs her face. “Well, you have to, don’t you? I’m carrying your child. And you have a whole…guilt thing about it, about not being able to do more for me right now, and so you feel like you have to, I know.”

He scratches his head and stares at her. “You think I put my tongue inside you out of _obligation_?” He shakes his head. “Obligation is holding the vibrator for you because you can’t bloody reach it. Obligation is _not_ me with my face between your legs sucking your clit until you come.”

Ellie’s face flushes. She looks away. “I knew you’d be cross with me.”

He closes his eyes and takes a breath. When he opens them again, she’s looking right at him, with an anxious uncertainty.

“It’s important to me right now,” Alec tries to explain, struggling to understand it himself. “It’s important to me, I think, because…yes, I want to make you feel good, yes, it’s something I want to be able to give to you because I feel a bit helpless, but also because…you know. After the baby comes, it’ll be six weeks at least before we…_can_ again.” Her expression changes to one of surprise. “Maybe a lot longer, depending on how the birth goes and how you’re feelin’ and…” He sighs. “We’ve never done that before. Gone that long. Never gone longer than _one _week before. I want to get it right while I can.”

It’s startlingly honest and though if she’d really sat down to think about it, she might have guessed he would be feeling exactly this way, she is entirely flummoxed.

“Oh.”

“If we’re goin’ to be honest about sex with Fred, we may as well be honest about it with each other,” he says.

There’s a long silence, during which they both contemplate where to go from here, what to do next. It seems like an oddly fragile moment between the two of them, a kind of sensitive precariousness that they rarely experience now at this stage in their relationship.

Alec fixes his gaze on her. “Lie back on the bed, will you?”

She looks concerned. “I’ve not got my pyjamas on yet.”

“Won’t need ‘em,” he replies.

Tentatively, she crawls backward on the bed until she makes it up to her pillow. He grabs the cocoa butter lotion from her bureau and holds it up for her approval. She nods. He meets her on the bed, sitting on his knees beside her.

“You’re trying to torture me,” Ellie complains, eyeing his nearly naked body.

“Shh.” He leans down and kisses the side of her mouth. “All right now, listen. Future Mrs. Hardy.” She grins like a schoolgirl with a crush. “You…” He squeezes some lotion out into his hand. “Are the loveliest. Sexiest.” He starts rubbing the lotion over her stomach slowly. “_Softest_. Most alluring. And somehow most bloody _adorable_. Woman I’ve ever met.” He takes a moment to slide his hands around, careful not to miss an inch. “And even seven months pregnant. Even with stretchmarks and swollen ankles. I can’t keep my eyes off you. Can’t ever stop thinkin’ about you.” He procures more lotion and moves down to her thighs, massaging them as he rubs the lotion into her skin. “I sit at my desk at work and think about the way you look in that clawfoot bathtub. I watch you undress with _rapt_ attention, you may have noticed. And if puttin’ my tongue inside you is an obligation, sign me up for the job every single day.” He moves to sit between her legs, massaging the other thigh. “I have never, _ever_ been more turned on by anyone in my life. I fuck you because I _want to_, because I _want you, _because I can’t believe I get to _have _you and I don’t want to waste a second.”

Ellie raises her head to look at him. “Are you practicing your vows?”

There’s a beat, then Alec bursts into laughter, until they’re both laughing. He crawls up to lie beside her, face to face, grinning.

“I was tryin’ to seduce you, woman.”

“And doing a _lovely_ job, I might add.” She touches his cheek and kisses him. “Thank you.”

He kisses her cheek, her nose, her eyelid. “You are so beautiful.”

She smiles. “I wasn’t fishing, you know. It’s not that you don’t tell me enough, this is not on you.”

He props himself up with his elbow. “What can I do then?”

“It’s just something that happens, love. It’s a strange thing to have another human inside your body. To put it mildly,” she tells him. “It comes with all sorts of bizarre symptoms. Some days I just don’t feel at home in my body. Some days I feel almost unbearably connected with it. And this might…to be frank, this may continue even after the baby comes.” He nods somberly. “I don’t know. But I _will_ endeavor to be more open about it with you. _If _you promise not to take it personally.”

“I promise.”

He pulls her into him until she’s resting her head on his chest, playing with a tuft of hair there. He runs his index finger up her arm, eventually hooking it to her bra strap.

“Can we dispense with _this_?” He asks hopefully.

She raises her head questioningly. “You still want to, um…?”

He pushes the strap off her shoulder and kisses her lips. “Course.” Then a question suddenly occurs to him that he rarely has to ask. “Do _you_?”

“Well.” She bites her lip. “You _are _awfully enticing at the moment. But I must warn you I do feel a little out of sorts. All the endless baby talk today.” Her days are becoming more and more like that, and it makes her feel a little like less of a person.

“Right.” He’s hesitant. This is slightly new territory. They almost _always _want to have sex and when they don’t, they _both _don’t. It’s so rarely a question between them. It feels very mature. But strange. “So maybe better we don’t?”

“Could just give you a blow job,” Ellie suggests brightly.

He thinks about it. “Not very comfortable for you at the moment though, is it?”

“Hm, no,” she agrees. “Could probably pull it off if you sit at the edge of the bed with me on the floor. Have to be quick though, my back can’t take it.”

He smirks. “How quickly it happens is really up to you, isn’t it?”

“S’pose so. Want to?”

It’s sort of an exciting development, Alec thinks. Talking about it instead of just doing it. It’s less romantic, of course, but oddly satisfying.

“Yeah, all right,” he replies. “Like to at least _try_ to get you off after though. Okay for you?”

“Hang on. Something about you is turning me on right now.”

He narrows his eyebrows. “What is it?”

“Dunno.” She shoves her hand into his briefs and curls her fingers around his half-hard cock.

“_Ahhhh, _okay.”

She closes her eyes and lays her head back on his chest as she begins to stroke him. “Mm.”

“Mm?” His eyes are still open, watching her. She brushes her thumb over the tip. “Ahh, fuck.”

“I know what it is,” she says finally, lifting her head to look at him, eyes mischievous and sparkling. “_Fuuuuck, Ellie_.”

“_That’s_ doin’ it?” He asks incredulously. He bucks his hips into her hand. “Christ.”

“The, uh.” She touches her feet to his slightly writhing spindly legs. “Thought of you saying it. Of making you say it.”

“Mmhmm.”

“_Oh_.” She sits up a bit, and with her other hand reaches for his and places it between her legs.

“_Oh_.”

“Yeah.”

“_Yeah._” He strokes her through her knickers. “So you want to, um…”

She nods. “Think you need to stand though. Pull me down to the edge and grab me a pillow.”

It’s not at _all_ glamorous, but it _is _sort of…sexy?

Alec eagerly climbs off the bed. He drags her down to the edge of the bed, legs spread and knees bent, then grabs a pillow and a helps place it underneath her lower back.

“Good?” He asks, staring at her salivating as he quickly pulls off his briefs, stumbling a bit.

“Good.” She props herself up on her elbows impatiently. “Do it.”

He pulls off her knickers, grasps her thighs, then guides himself inside her, both of them gasping with something akin to _relief_.

“Take your bra off.”

With slight discomfort, she manages it.

“Good,” he says, beginning to thrust at the sight of her. “Gonna miss those once baby gets a hold of them.”

“You’ll have your fair share.”

“Still feel good?” He pants.

“Yeah.”

“Comfortable?”

She drops her head back. “Shut up.”

His thrusts begin to pick up and she arches her back, writhing. After a few moments he says, “Can you do what you did earlier. With the, um….before Tess walked in.”

She thinks – extremely hard to do right now. “You want me to cry out my own name?”

“The whole thing, when you were doin’ me.”

“Mm, right.” She grabs onto the comforter with a sharp intake of breath as he pushes deeper into her. “Let me get into character.”

“Fuck, Ellie, come on.”

Her face lights up and she looks at him. “That’s it!” She bites her lip. “Mm, can you, um.”

She makes a vague gesture at him that he somehow understands. He adjust himself so he can rub her clit at the same time.

“_Oh Ellie, fuck Ellie, ach aye Ellie.” _He thrusts harder. Apparently it’s working. _ “Come on baby, come on, fuck fuck fuck Ellie Ellie Ellie – _“

“Jesus,” he gasps.

“Not what you’re s’posed to say,” she gasps back.

“_Fuck_, Ellie.”

“Keep going, it’s your turn.”

He moves in and leans over her, one hand on the bed steadying him, the other massaging her breast. “_Ach, aye, _Ellie.”

She smiles, closing her eyes. “Mm-hmm.”

“Fuck, I’m close. Are you close?”

She tries to raise her hips a bit, but she doesn’t have the mobility. “Almost. Little harder.”

“Beautiful,” he whispers, doing as she’s asked him. “You’re so beautiful.”

She starts nodding and biting her lip, a sure sign she’s getting closer.

“Come on, baby,” he says.

“Yeah.”

“Come on.”

As he’s begging her to come, he can’t hold _himself_ back any longer and finally cries out, “_Fuuuuck, Ellie.” _He nearly collapses on her, but she’s yet unsatisfied. He keeps thrusting, but focuses his concentration on her clit. “Fuck. Come on, baby.”

“Uh huh,” she pants. “Almost – almost – “ Then she cries out too, no words in particular. “_Oh_.” She covers her face. “Fucking hell.”

Alec pulls out of her breathlessly.

She raises her head. “Please god tell me Fred is not at the door.”

They both turn their heads. Nothing. The door is closed tight.

“Oh thank christ.”

Alec collapses onto the bed beside her.

“Help me back, my legs are dangling.”

He chuckles and helps her move backwards onto the bed more fully.

“_Thank _you.” She snuggles up to him, lying on her side with his help.

“That was good,” Alec says.

“Yeah,” she exhales.

He turns his head to her. “Right?”

She laughs. “_Yes_, Alec. Didn’t you feel me - ?”

“Yeah, but – “

Ellie draws his lips to hers and kisses him. “That was _very _good.”

He grins proudly and lays his head back down on the pillow.

“Just don’t make me say my own name again,” she requests.

“Fine,” he agrees. “Dunno why it was so bloody hot, but it was.”

She shivers in his arms. “Cold."

“Right.”

He reluctantly gets out of bed and deals with the covers, yanking them down and over her, then crawling back in underneath them. She snuggles back up to him again.

“Feel better?” She asks, tucking her head underneath his chin.

“Mm-hmm. You?”

“Mm-_hmm_.”

There’s quiet for a moment, as their breathing begins to even out and find a rhythm together.

His eyes open suddenly. “We’re still goin’ to have sex after to the baby comes, yeah?”

Her eyes stay closed and she smiles calmly. “_Yes_, my love.”

“Not goin’ to become of those couples who – “

“_No_.”

He quiets down and she hopes he has fallen asleep.

But he hasn’t.

“Think we should revisit Maeve,” he says.

“Maeve is growing on me,” she says sleepily.

“Brynn?”

“Too Welsh,” she grumbles.

He begins to trace circles on her back with his fingers, a sign to Ellie that he is not, alas, on the verge of sleep. She opens her eyes and waits.

“Aila,” Alec says finally, pronounced _EYE-luh_.

“…Spell it,” Ellie replies.

“A-I-L-A. I looked it up this morning,” he tells her. “Means ‘from the strong place’ in Scottish Gaelic.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah.”

“Aila.”

“Mm-hmm.”

She plants a sleepy kiss to his chest. “The Scottish is nice.” She yawns. “From the strong place…”

Ellie places a hand on his pacemaker scar, feeling his heartbeat as she closes her eyes. Alec switches off the lamp.

Then their bedroom door very quietly creaks open. Lethargically, they both raise their heads to look.

“ARE YOU DOING SEX?” Fred whisper-shouts.

Ellie sighs. “No, sweetheart.” _Not anymore_.

“Okay!” He dispenses with the whispering and just shouts, closing the door behind him and running off.

Ellie looks at Alec, eyes narrowed. “Did he come in here just to _see_?”

“…Think so.”

She drops her head back to his chest, defeated. “Bollocks.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big things coming in the next one!


End file.
